Tuesday, 10 July 2007

Selective mutism or different wavelenghts?

Find yourself within a group of people and wonder why you have nothing to say at all? Sometimes, no, i mean everytime, it happens to me. Eversince i watch channel 77 on Astro, I wonder if i have a disorder called ' Selective mutism' (there was a show featuring on it) because I just can't find myself talking as easily as everyone else. If people take 1 month to make friends, i'll take the whole year.

Sometimes i wonder where were the 'noisiest girl in class' gone to...mind you, my name had been a regular on the list together with michelle! My voice is not loud, so i wonder how these ketua kelas can hear and know that i was talking, whereas people who are sitting next to me took efforts to hear what i was saying.

Or perhaps the cause to my selective mutism is actually different wavelenghts? You know when you were young, you are more carefree, innocent and boisterous....you have more to share, more to talk. Even 10 slaps on the face can't stop you from chattering! (Or perhaps this only happens in SFC). But as you grow, you start to think differently, meet more people and experience more things...thus entering into a different set of social situation, for me, i'll have a sudden cultural shock. It may be for a while, long time or I may never be able to adapt.

But i must say here that i always run the risk of talking like Dr.Mahathir, sarcastic! Maybe this is another reason that i fear talking, to avoid saying the wrong stuff at the wrong time, and worse still, it does cost friendships! To sum up, i think i'm not a very good conversationalist.

Does anyone face the same thing?

2 Yawns:

sarahmarilyn said...

when you start to experience the world independently...you'll start to think differently..the world today is not meant for naive people..sometimes we hafta be a lil bit reserved..it's a form of security u know...i was once so young, bubbly, mischievous and enthusiastic and i was sucha blabbermouth! i blabbed almost everything in the world that had something to do wif me..i kinda miss doin that actually but im only saying hello to doom if i do that now....

Karen said...

yeah i do miss the time where we can fight today n be best friends again tml..now that how we're goin to survive also depends on how we conduct ourselves..

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